10/28/2005

The 2nd "Date": William

My second "meeting" was with William. He seemed promising. His photo seemed promising too. (Dark and Mediterranean looking. The only part I did not like was the Cubs hat.) This is what William wrote me that reeled me in (so cute):

"I mean I am not saying that you should be impressed that I know who Mr. Noodle is or even what his brother's name is (Mr. Noodle) but I definitely think it's something that we could talk about than that I am 32-yr-old 5'9" northsider with 1 son (who doesn't live with me but I who see almost everyday) and a job and all my teeth. I can also make an INSANELY good grilled cheeses sandwich. Oh, and I never litter and I always tip 20% and I know that irregardless is not a word and never will be. William"

Excellent intro! I liked.

We decided to meet by a train stop, at his suggestion, which I thought was a fantastic idea. From his casual finesse, it seemed like he had done this a multitude of times and was becoming an expert.

I was early and waited for him in a slutty shoe store; you know, the kind with furry high-heeled boots and platform shoes. I peered through the sheer curtain, trying to make out if any new person was waiting there out of the small swarms that kept exiting.

Finally, unable to decipher anything from behind the sequined platform heels, I exited and saw a balding man in a black jacket holding an open tin of Altoids. Could this be him? I was very confused. The guy in the photo wasn't bald. As I looked him over, I caught a spark in his eye. You know, the "Hungry Man" look. (This is the look that lets me know I'm not doing too bad in the sex appeal department. It is the look that makes me go...phew!)

I timidly moved in his general direction and he held up the tin of Altoids to me. I took one awkwardly. Except I already had gum in my mouth, so I held it. "Are you William?" I asked. "I am. Do you just go around taking mints from strangers?"

I had a flashing memory of my first love interest, Sean O'Grady, a burly muscular blond 7th grader with a puggish face. We were on the same soccer team. He had offered me a "cert" on one of our walks and I later giggled with my friends that it meant he had planned to kiss me. But I never even kissed him. The thought had terrified me, despite the strange "baby" erotic undercurrents that I felt when I was around him.

Somehow, William's "mint move" did not make me as uncomfortable as Sean O'Grady's once had. Yeah, it was cheesy, but he somehow pulled it off. What made me uncomfortable is that he looked nothing like his photo. He was pale and nondescript compared to the dashing Mediterranean gent I had seen in the photo. Looks-wise, he was the type of person that could get lost in a crowd. And I do feel terrible about saying that. But he kind of deserves it, for having covered his bald-spot with a Cubs cap.

I don't mind a balding man, but there should be no deceipt involved. If you're balding, put it out there and work with the assets you do have. (It's just reminding this Puerto Rican friend I had named Pamela - not balding, just a random thought - who was not "pretty" but extremely sexy and elegant...She was talking about a girl who was pretty but didn't ever have a boyfriend cause she lacked that oomph...She said, "I'm not pretty but I use what I have well. And men like me." It was true, she wasn't skinny or technically pretty but her self-confidence was overwhelming.) But lets get back to my "date" with William.

We walked around instead of going to a cafe, at my request. William was sharp and witty, though we didn't really seem to connect. But I started getting this tragic sense of how terrible it must be to be a man on these dates. You have half an hour (if you're with me...Though I could stretch it if I really think there's potential,) to prove that you're the proper candidate. Men start doing these tap dances to prove how intelligent and kind they are.

William was loaded with wittiscisms, and I liked him. There just wasn't anything there for us.

After half an hour, we waited on the platform to board our respective trains. I was telling him how on my trip back from Japan, the guy next to me was a chronic sniffler and I had to stand in back by the bathroom and talk with people for 12 hours cause he was making me too nervous. Then I started imitating his sniffles, and William got this look all over his face that almost seemed like a longing to connect with a woman, and silently boarded his train without even a goodbye.

And I had this strangely poetic sense that William was a true gentleman, and that I'd never see him again.

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