10/28/2005

Mommy, Look What I Found!

My three-year-old son is irresistably drawn to my bedside table. It has the usual fare in it: ear plugs and condoms.

Jack knows that he's not supposed to play in there, and he usually obliges, however it had been months, and the overwhelming urge to sneak a peek had crept up on him.

He came out in to the hall, saying, "Mommy, look what I found!" He held up a gold Trojan Magnum like a first-prize candy award, triumphantly in the air.

And I found myself doing that stupid thing that verbally-grappling mothers do. "Put that back. You don't want that. That's medicine." Sometimes, you just don't know what to say.

Should I be hiding these things? I don't think so. It's a part of life, and shouldn't be shameful. So why do I say it's medicine? Cause he's only 3, right?

I remember on a daily basis my friend Melissa and I would trudge over to her wholesome parent's bedside drawer and extract multi-colored, mint flavored condoms, and delightedly conjure all of the potentially illicit acts that could be performed with the colorful little gems.

Someday, I'll explain. No, lets hope there's a man around to do it by that time.

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