The Cat Came Back the Very Next Day

This is Marty - a man that I'd call a salsa-head. He is a salsa addict - you'll find him in a different Latin club every night of the week...He is so used to the emotional high of salsa that any other locale would just be so unsatisfying to his personal stimulus quota...he doesn't even bother. If he were to be in a normal restaurant, he'd be looking around nervously and just itching to say, "Why don't we go dance some salsa?" He is a person who listens to salsa in his car, in the shower, while he's working out. And he works out just to look good dancing salsa. He lives in the fantasy world of salsa, memorizing the lyrics, imagining that he can feel those emotions too. If he travels, it must be to a salsa convention, wherever it may be. These single people live out their existance in every American metropolis, dancing, dancing, addicted to the spin and thrill of the dance floor.

***

I'll start off by saying, I know all of this because I've been there, but now I'm clean. I pass many months without listening to the Gran Combo. But there was a time in which I only dreamed of boyfriends who could knock me out on the dance floor, and frankly all of the men who could knock me out on the dance floor were extremely boring and I barely dated them. The guys who are interesting to talk to and truly appreciate me can never dance much. So I've had all of these boyfriends and just fantascized that one day, they'd learn. But it was too painful to listen to much salsa around them, too disappointing. Little by little, salsa became less a part of my life, which is fine since I found the club environment fairly vapid. Being curious about life and experiencing it led me to learn salsa in the first place, but after the thrill there was an emptiness about the whole thing...making friends with other dancers and eating at a 24-hour place afterwards and having these painfully mediocre conversations about nothing. It was, in a sense, what a crack house must be like. A lot of people get stuck together because of their interest and settle for each other because they might need each other.

Years ago, in 1998, there was a guy who was always at these clubs - (and apparently so was I, if I kept running into him,) - he was a permanent, quiet fixture. I actually thought he was kind of cute. He was a stylist in a prestigious salon, quiet, and took salsa very seriously, always attending advanced classes and making sure he was up on all of the moves. Frankly, we just never clicked, never hit it off. He was the type of guy that would stop dancing to correct me if I ever messed up a move. I HATE THAT. A truly great dancer has it in his heart and blood and knows how to make any "mis-step" into a new move. A truly great dancer doesn't carry around some stylists manual in his head and force it on the ladies. I've never been the manual type, (well, maybe now and then,) though I pick up dances quickly like languages (dance is a form of language, isn't it?) and I never get along with the manual type. Alright, I like a man who is just exhuberant on the dance floor, who just has so much fun that it's contageous. But like I said, thinking men aren't like this as far as I know, because they think too much, and only thinking men do it for me.

A few months ago, I put up the "Sexy Little Clown" ad and Marty responded with a pic. Here's our dialogue:

MARTY wrote:

hi I can dance salsa very well ans I like your profile a lot.

NATHALIE wrote:

How funny - you know me - vaguely - from many years ago. I used to see you all of the time at Nyda's. I actually thought you were a cute man but we never clicked or anything. I'll attach my pic so you can remember.

Anyway...Best to you Marty. You're looking good.

Nathalie


MARTY wrote:

hi, thanks for the compliments. Though I can't honestly say that I remeber you from this photo, I may, if I saw you in person. Do you still go out dancing to clubs? maybe we could plan to meet out I will be going to Silver Dolphin tommorrow (weds are good salsa nites there) maybe Zoom on thurs.

***

I didn't write Marty back. Are you surprised? I would love to do salsa again - in moderation - but not with a Marty.

Anyway, I published a version of the same ad two days ago on CL, with the same title, but even longer and more annoying. And Marty sent me this:

Kiss me, I'm a Salsa Head

you are really interesting! I've been to Cuba, Puerto Rico (san Juan sucks) Santo Domingo, Cali Columbia, Panama I like your taste in music/movies I enjoy latin dance - usually take a few classes a month I'm a hairstylist. I went to jackson college- photography interest I'm pretty good. I'd like to talk more with you Thanks

***

He could have used my name the second time around!

RULE #2569: Remember, there are men out there who respond to every single ad every single day, often with the exact same message. And it must be getting them somewhere, but nowhere.

I suppose I am not so different from them, if I keep posting the same ad.