May I introduce you to Samarjit?

But you can call him Sam.

This is what Sam wrote me and it worked:

"Hi There..I am a 29+ male in your city. I am 5'11 165lbs slim/athletic. I have attached my pic. I was born in Brazil and grew up in South Africa. Been in the states about 8 yrs now. I work for Audubon Society. I do documentaries on exotic places..such as Peru, Chile, Egypt etc. I love travelling...never thought I would be so into long flights and sleepless nights..but well..things worked out.

I liked your post...very open and honest...and thats what I like in a woman. It was hilarious that you mentioned about a guy paying for dinner.

I hope we can hit it off. Looking forward to hearing from you.

cheers"

Attached to this message was a professional photo of a very elegant-looking, trim man. I was instantly suspicious. Partier? Womanizer?

***

Sam and I emailed back and forth trying to meet, and he was rather demanding, asking me to go to his area. I was getting the impression that he was a little self-centered. Finally I just decided to be myself. I wrote this:

"RE: life is too short to meet at starbucks

"It would be much easier to do this on a day that I'm on the train. (I really don't like throwing away $8 on parking.) And I'll tell you the truth, if there are places I'd go in my precious, spare free non-mother moments, one of those places would not be starbucks. It would be a place that is in some way memorable. Life is too short to meet at starbucks. "

Then he responded:

"Then we can meet up some other day...since you have a very short time today. Would monday work better?
Let me know whatever works best for you."

Then I responded:

"Hi Sam,

The best thing for me would be if we were to meet right outside of the Washington Center right by the Monument of the Standing Beast very briefly. Hope that works for you.

Nathalie"

I expected that my little sass would perturb him, but it seemed to just intrigue him. (Tip to the ladies: Reverse psychology must be artfully employed, but it definitely has its place.)

The afternoon that we met, I had been sitting in the lower atrium of the federal building - had been planning on meeting Sam up by the "Monument with Standing Beast", but I saw a tall, elegant, well-dressed man looking like he was looking for someone walk by. Then he sat by the center of the atrium, playing with his fancy phone.

I went up and introduced myself...Sam scanned my face and looked confused. Was he disappointed? Did I look different from my photo? I couldn't make out his expression. Maybe I should send out various pics, I thought...

He was different - slimmer shoulders, flappier ears. He was quite wispy in his movements. There was something feminine about him, and he was not establishing himself as the "Alpha" - I was. We walked to the corner bakery and I had this thought: I could take him down if I really tried. That's not a great sign, cause I like a man who's got some oomph to him.

I have this thing that I have realized about myself as of late - I like to be with a man whom I perceive could "throw down" if he needs to. I guess you could say, a manly man - a gentle man with a tough streak. A man with a bit of street credentials thrown in. A man who could get me in a headlock I can't escape from.

I did perceive some qualities that impressed me though as the moments passed...he was quite a sophisticated conversationalist and didn't pry. (Men, take this tip - be like Sam.) As we stood in line and I made stupid jokes, he asked, "How did you get so witty?" I looked at him to see if he was serious. He was.

We sat down and then I noticed it. The Portuguese look of his eyes - they were pretty - and had some edge to them. I had to look away, a lot. I kept looking out the window and he kept trying to see what was out there, like he expected an elephant to stroll past.

I suggested that we go to an Indian place sometime, and he agreed. I felt at ease with him, and I told him. "It's easy talking to you." His eyes were definitely bright.

And as he walked me to the bus, he covertly answered his phone..."Hello. Yes, I'll be there in 10 minutes. (Somewhat exasperated,) I will. Ten minutes. Goodbye." I turned to him and asked, "You're not married, are you?"

"No."

He seemed harried suddenly, rushed. I gave him my card and he seemed impatient. But I still was sure when I got home, there would be a message..."Nathalie...I had a great time with you this afternoon...."

I couldn't help it, as I took the bus down Michigan Avenue, I looked up at the 4-star restaurants with stylish decor and started imagining myself eating in dimly lit, elegant places with him and accompanying him to sophisticated events.

I checked my email as soon as I got home. But there was nothing. Haven't heard from Sam, and it has been 5 days. I don't get it. What were his eyes all about? Did I blow it by asking if he was married? Did he think I was some kind of possessive lady? Was he married? Was I too straightforward when I gave him my card? Was he looking for a hunt and chase scenario? Well, I don't truly want to play "run away until he catches me". (Though it works.) I just want to be my lovable, straightforward self.

I'll just keep rollin' those dice. Seems to be part of the trick.