You have failed to impress me, Kenny-Boy.

Your little photo will get you nowhere with me.

***

Correspondence generated from the Lamp Fixing ad...

KENNETH WROTE:

Hi! Just saw your ad and was wondering if you've found anyone yet. I used to be an electrician before becoming a firefighter so I am used to working with my hands.

Am I smart? Well I don't really know how to classify my intelligence. You'd have to be the judge of that.

Why do I want the job? I have not had a good home cooked meal with a intelligent conversation in a long while!! Sure the guys cook at the firehouse but when we all eat together, it's like a bunch of kids talking. I would love to talk to someone who doesn't have he word fu$% coming out of their mouth every 2 minutes.

What meal would I like? Well I'd leave that up to you. I like pretty much anything so that would not be a problem.I'm pretty sure you are a good cook.

Finally, why would you enjoy having me in your house? Well, I'm a guy that can talk to you about anything. I think I'm funny but you would have to be the judge of that. I guess I've never sat down and auto-analyzed myself but at the very least you'd have a good conversation and you'd get your lamp set up.

Let me know if you'd like me to give you a hand. I have eight days off of work coming up so I have a lot of free time.I hope I get the job! I'm really hungry!!!

***

I made the careless mistake of allowing him into the "possible" folder.

***

MESSAGE #2:

Nathalie, babe just be straight with me!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just crashed my car and am completely lost as what I'm supposed to do. I'm completely lost as to what I want to do with me life. I'm off to to Mexico for a week unless you convince me to stay with your pretty sexy self and have some fun. Let me know. I'm not going to play any games with you just looking to fix your lamp and have a good meal and fuck the shit out of you afterwards. Let me know!

***

Alright folks, I'll admit that I really didn't enjoy this one, and now this whole lamp-fixing idea is giving me the creeps. It was fun photo-shopping his penis, though, to imbue me with a sense illusory control.